We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
