wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
