just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
