No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
