i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
