true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
