my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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