She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
