My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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