Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize