So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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