He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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