I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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