How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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