He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
