this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
