I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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