i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
