So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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