bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
