I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
