you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize