i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
how drunk are you?
Several
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
