he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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