how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
