i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
