I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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