return my video game
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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