Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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