Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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