he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
