we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize