at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
