He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
