this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
