YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
