You're a womanizer and a bitch.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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