The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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