it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
