they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
