And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
