Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
