Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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