I think im going to throw up on grandma
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
