Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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