Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
