You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
