paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
There's even glitter on my cock...
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