Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
