Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Your penis caused this!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
