the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
