she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
