Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
