Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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