awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
