My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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