piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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