The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
home. puking in laundry basket.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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